See the Beauty: Kindness

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”
― Plato

“We’ve experienced 10 years in less than 1,000 days.”

I recently heard a friend share this thought about the heaviness we’ve all experienced the past few years. And that framing has stuck with me. If truly measurable and an accurate representation of what we’ve encountered during the pandemic, then what must it feel like to our bodies, minds and spirits?

What if, in just 1000 days, I’d . . .

. . . left a job and started my own business and also tried and failed and failed and failed to adopt a child that then led my wife and me to the brink of a breakup only to push us into counseling that only led us into deeper despair as we sat with the ghosts of pain from the past before finally seeing the light again that allowed us to face our adoption fears again until we finally were able to adopt a beautiful baby boy.

And what if, in just 1000 days, I’d . . .

. . . experienced the exhaustion of early parenthood quickly followed by the wonder of childhood development and then my own painful personal development resulting in unexpected attacks of panic as well as unexperienced levels of self doubt only enlarged whenever I’d lose a client or when a friendship would fade away or the sadness that came when burying a family member or the fears felt the night I took my wife to the E.R. and while waiting for her tumors to be removed.

And what if, in just 1000 days, I’d . . .

. . . packed up and sold a house and then said goodbye to family and longtime friends before driving out west without an address and then moved into an unknown landscape where I searched for new clients and where I watched my son enter elementary school and where we met new neighbors only to see my brother leave Colorado a few months later and then my parents move out of my childhood home not long before we put our dog to rest and then adopted another new pet right before we all locked our doors and windows and then watched the world from behind our masks.

. . .

When I look at the last few years in this way, I find that I’m able to be much kinder to myself and to others — much gentler than I have been. Considering that such heaviness — stress, tiredness, anxiety, and loneliness —  has been condensed into such a short amount of time helps me find and extend compassion to my body, mind, and spirit, making it physically possible to then extend it to others.

What’s happened in your life this past decade? What if it all had been compressed into just 1,000 days? Maybe we can extend more kindness to ourselves and to others by seeing our lives from this perspective.